Tuesday, October 20, 2009

One Word at a Time: Trust

I'm joining sweet tweep Bridget Chumbley today in her "One Word at a Time" blog carnival.
Today's word:

We are born trusting souls, dependent on someone else for our every need. As we mature, our human failures become all too obvious. Who and what can we trust?

The first thing that came to mind when I heard this week's word was "Guard your heart..." Seriously, how trusting is that?

It's so easy for us to distrust both people and things.

Inanimate objects are very easy to distrust, because we half-way expect them to let us down. A flat tire. A broken dryer. Mere "stuff" is known to fail us on several levels, even if it works all the time. In the end, it's still stuff. Stuff with no heart.

When people let us down, the failure goes much deeper. It's heart failure.

"Guard your heart..."

And therein lies error of our ways, because our hearts are not perfect. People, no matter how close they are to you, are simply not perfect. Worse, we are unmistakably flawed. And only the ultimately perfect can be trusted.

Our most trusted friends have let us down with gossip, greed, or envy. Our families will let us down with broken promises, little white lies, disrespect, and less-than-full disclosure. Trust that takes years to build can be destroyed in a moment.

Trust me on this one.

Because I have been that friend.
That wife.
That mom.
That daughter.
And though I'm as loyal as white on rice, there have been times that I know I have let others down in their eyes and they felt some level of betrayal, no matter how unintended it was. I'm a work in progress.

With our relationships, we take the risk of rebuilding and regaining that trust. It demands faith, hope, and guts. And a bit of heart-guarding until you feel safe and secure again. We want and need to trust again. We will trust again. In order to do so, it begins with reminders of simple scrawled words of a small child, and a lot of help from Above. Because only the Perfect can be implicitly trusted.

Tea today: green with lemongrass


Helen said...

I hadn't thought about it before reading your post, but trusting others does require foriveness, doesn't it?

katdish said...

Oh, Candy. That was fantastic! You really should write more often.

Eyeglasses & Endzones said...

That is a really great analagy. I will have to remember that for sure!

Marni said...

You really should write more often!

I too have been that friend, that wife, that mother, that daughter, that child of God. It gives me heart failure to think I've hurt as much as I've been hurt.

Our pastor just spoke to us about the darkness of our hearts and the pain it can bring on others. I'm more cognizant now of being trustworthy and systematically removing the dark parts of my heart. Thank you for this reminder.

Boozy Tooth said...

Candy!!! Thank you so much for this post. You're not going to believe this, but it's exactly what I needed to see today. As usual, your words eloquently echo what my heart is feeling. May I quote a few lines and link to your post please?

Love you!

Boozy Tooth said...

PS: My word verification was: Regrop (as in regroup). A message from God perhaps?

Candy said...

@Alix - you can link to me ANY time - arm in arm, heart to heart, blog to blog. You are a blessing! "Go therefore and regrop" or something like that.

Anonymous said...

Candy, I am so happy you wrote this and shared it on the carnival!

"Trust that takes years to build can be destroyed in a moment."

These words are so true. I've been the giver as well as the receiver of this situation...it hurts no matter what!

Russell Holloway said...

I like how you point out trust can be eroded simply by doing what is right, what others do not want. Thanks.

Anne Lang Bundy said...

I know I have let others down in their eyes and they felt some level of betrayal, no matter how unintended it was.

One more reason to have a free hand with forgiveness for those who let me down.

Because only the Perfect can be implicitly trusted.


Boozy Tooth said...

Hi Candy!

Me again.

Please swing by Casa Hice when you have time and pick up your Honest Scrap Award.


Beth E. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Beth E. said...

We were devastated a few years ago, when someone from our church deceived my husband and betrayed our trust.

That experience became a very long journey to forgiveness. Trust? Well, for that particular person, no. We are cautiously optimistic with others. But, as you said, "...only the Perfect can be implicitly trusted."

We're ALL a work in progress, aren't we? I know that I have let others down in the past, though unintentionally. I'm so glad that God isn't finished with me, yet!

Awesome post, Candy!

Ginny (MAD21) said...

Wow. Great minds do think alike, don't they? Funny that we chatted last night about our struggles with this, and we both came up with the same ideas. And how crazy is it that we used the same picture??! (I edited mine a litle, but still!)

I agree that you should write more. :)

Chris Sullivan said...

When inanimate objects fail us, it is nothing personal. As frustrated as we get when that happens, people letting us down is so much worse. Although being the one to let someone down may be the worst feeling of all,

wife.mom.nurse said...

God really brought me down a road last year that put me in a place to truly put my trust in HIM.

He is so very trustworthy!


Gitz 'n Jo said...

This was so good, Candy... and very timely for me. We have a friend who has gone through many changes, all of which we have supported him through, but now he's decided he's an atheist and is attacking all people of faith and prayer through a blog. It's heartbreaking to have to separate yourself from someone you've loved for a long time, but not standing up for our faith isn't an option either. I don't want to make this guard my heart, though... it's hard to be so hurt and yet remain so open.

Heather Sunseri said...

Candy, what a wonderful post about trust. Trust is so important, isn't it? You are so right when you write how quickly it can be destroyed. Trust is such a precious gift that must not be taken for granted. Thank you for this message.

Thank you, also, for stopping by my blog today to share.

S. Etole said...

Thank you for dropping by my blog yesterday ... part of that blessing is discovering you here ... and your words of wisdom.

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