For the most part, feet are probably the least attractive part of the human body, except for my friend Janie who has those cutesy size 6's that are perfectly pedicured at all times and have skin like a baby's butt. If you look closely, even Katie Holmes and Paris Hilton have pretty disgusting feet, except they can disguise them with Jimmy Choo or Manolo Blahnik and get away with it.
Me, not so much.
I have these long, skinny contraptions at the end of my legs that look like they broke free from the skeleton in the cadaver lab. Even in narrow shoes, they flop right out. I'm trying to find a pair of heels to dye to match a dress, and the ones I found that would work best with my pitiful peds were $348.
I'm not a shoe snob (that's Sherri). I wouldn't buy those if I could afford them (actually she wouldn't either; she'd steal them).
Then there's the skin on those bony feet. I could show you pictures, but you'd think you were looking at a dermatologic firestorm with bruised and absent nails, corns, callouses, bruises, and the like - all as a result of many years of slamming into the front of running and tennis shoes, having shoes that never really fit right, and yes, this dreaded eczema that decided to find its way to my 10 little piggies a few years ago. I've had 2 pedicures in my life, mostly because I don't like grossing out pedicurists, because my dermatologist advises against it, and oh, did I mention that I'm cheap?
So I ordered a pair of hot heels online (no, not the pricey ones. Cheep. Cheep.) hoping they'll fit. Or at least I can fill the insides with glue from my hot glue gun to make them fit (yeah, it works)! But I must get two toes on each foot looking presentable in order to wear them. I'll be working hard at that, including beefing up this prescription, that over the years, could have bought some mighty fine shoes.
Holey Moley, this stuff is pricey. $408.99?? You'd better mention my pretty feet when you see me.
Tea today: Green with Pomegranate
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