***(Names may or may not have been changed to protect
Simple enough? Not for Mom.
Mom didn't answer the phone. Thank goodness she has one of those new-fangled contraptions called an answering machine. It's for when she's busy plunking out notes on her manual typewriter and can't hear the phone ring. Those suckers are loud! Did you know they still make ribbons for manual typewriters? Yeah, me neither. It took her four days to tell the typewritter ribbon story one time. Or maybe she told it four times. I lose track easily. And apparently I digress as well. But it was something about the sales guy's ex-wife being related to a guy's cousin who knew Ron Burgundy in college and what a small world we live in...
I left a message: "Hey Mom, what's Paul's last name? I want to put him on the rehearsal dinner invite. Just leave me a message. ThanksLove youBye."
I was at work and knew I might not get to my phone when she called back. A half hour later I picked up my phone and I had 3 missed calls and 3 messages.
Yep, all from Mom. I'm thinking this guy has a really long last name.
Message #1, 10:03 am: "I don't know what I possibly could have been doing when you called. I can't believe I didn't hear the phone. Oh yeah, I remember, I had my head in the dryer because I was vacuuming out the lint trap. That thing gets so much lint in it. You wouldn't believe all the laundry I did today, so after I was done, I decided to really clean out that lint trap. When I stuck my head in the dryer and ran the vacuum was probably when you called. I can't believe I didn't hear the phone. But then I probably wouldn't have gotten there soon enough anyway before you hung up. So well, uh, yeah that would be really nice if you'd invite Paul. I don't know if he'll be in town that weekend, but even if he isn't, it would be a really nice gesture. They are such a cute couple and I know he's met the kids before. I can't exactly remember when, but yeah, that would be really nice. OKthanksgoodbye."
Apparently she needed a moment to come up for air.
Message #2, 10:05 am: "Hi. Me again. I remember now. Luke and Rachel came with me to Brown Baggers, or was it the Widows Group...I don't remember. Oh, that was such a fun day! I was so proud to show them off. I'm the luckiest old lady around. Anyway, Paul was there and they visited with him and had a real nice conversation. I'm sure Ben and Abby have met him at church. He might be in town visiting - it would really be nice for you to invite him. I just couldn't remember where we were when the kids had that conversation. I'm pretty sure it was Brown Baggers. OKthanksgoodbye."
Breathe, Mom. Breathe.
Message #3, 10:08 am: "Hi, me again. I still can't believe I didn't hear the phone ring. But that vacuum is really loud especially when it's right by your ear. I sure hope my phone's working ok. I guess it is or you wouldn't have been able to leave a message. But I'd probably better get a different phone one of these days because sometimes when I'm listening to the baseball game I don't hear it ring either. Or if I'm way back in my bathroom. Do you think you can come and help me flip my mattress one of these days? I just can't do it by myself."
"Oh, and Paul's last name is Paulson."
I'm sure glad I didn't have to try to fit all of that on the envelope, bless her heart.
Got any dryer lint you need vacuumed? Want her number? I'm sure she'd call you back.
After all, she's got way too much time on her hands.
Tea today: Sencha