Friday, May 8, 2009

Does he really know me?

Sherri started it. Doesn't she always?

Then Billy took the bait.

Tonight, laughing out loud snorting at their posts and reading them to Ron Burgundy, I asked him the same questions.

Buckle up, Bloggie friends.

Ron. Raw. Unfiltered.

What is my favorite comfort food?
What RB said: "I can see it but I don’t know what to call it." (eyes squinting, face smooshed up)

Actual answer: Warm whole grain baguette dipped in olive oil, shredded parmesan, and freshly cracked black pepper.

I don’t believe that’s what he saw….we have totally different tastes in food for the most part. And he wouldn't know a baguette if it hit him over the head. I'm sure he was seeing meatloaf.

If money were no object, where would I like to go on vacation?
What RB said: "Wimbledon"

Actual answer: Oh yeah, in a heartbeat. It's June 22 - July 5, in case you need to book the flight.

How do I feel about housework?
What RB said: "You are the Bree (Desperate Housewives) of Hudson without the gun."

Actual answer: I do love to clean when I have time. But since lately I haven't had a minute to don my apron and sport my feather duster, can you send Bree over?

What is my least favorite household chore?
What RB said: "Cleaning up dog pee"

Actual answer: Cleaning up dog pee and poop and vomit. Let's not sugar-coat these answers lest someone mistakes us for the Cleavers.

What brings me the most joy?
What RB said: "Seeing our kids happy."

Actual answer: Spot on. I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. 3John 1:4

I have a Saturday night with no commitments. How do I spend it?
What RB said: "Go out to eat at a nice restaurant."

Actual answer: Same, except add to that "...and query the chef about cooking techniques, the best sources for fun things like squash blossoms and acai berries, and request a tour of the kitchen."

What is my greatest gift?
What RB said: "I don’t understand the question. Greatest gift...greatest gift... gosh...umm...golly, can we come back to this one?"
Laughs uncontrollably. Requests that we come back to this & he actually remembered! Later that night..."That you have the ability to see the best in people and give them some hope. In fact, give me some hope right now and tell me how to move this file into my Adobe project bin…."

Actual answer: I do try to see the best in people and was pretty humbled and flattered by his answer. He just didn't know when to zip it, and was obviously losing interest at this point. "Hey look, Sports Cente...."

What is my greatest talent?
What RB said: You used to be a pretty good tennis player, but since you don't play any more, I'd say it's your ability to cook a great meal, of course.

Actual answer: Has to be the cooking, made more joyful by moans and groans of gustatory pleasure from the table. Or rather from the people at the table.

As far as my tennis game goes, the older I get, the better I was, or in the words of Toby Keith, "I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was." I fully intend to return to game, set, and match when the time is right.

What do I enjoy the most?
What RB said: Staying home and cooking.

Actual answer: Staying home and cooking and cleaning like Bree from Desperate Housewives. Where's my gun? Aw heck, a cooking and cleaning Ninja needs no gun when she has Santoku knife and a toilet brush.

Perhaps I'll just fix some strawberries and cream like, you know, they have at Wimbledon.

What is my greatest fear?
What RB said: That something will happen to one of our children

Actual answer: Sort of right. I put their safety in God's hands. I fear more for their inevitable periods of sadness, doubt and hopelessness that we all have from time to time. Nothing saddens a mother more than a stewing child, no matter what the age.

What is my biggest pet peeve about other people?

What RB said: "When people don’t treat others with respect."

Actual answer: True, but let's get detailed. Rudeness. Bad table manners. F bombs. Chewing with your mouth open. Flipping the remote. Leaving your junk laying all over the place in somebody else's (ok, my) way. We may have to refer to "most annoying habit" below, because this could get ugly fast.

What is my favorite book of the Bible?
What RB said: "Luke"

Actual answer: Proverbs. I love The Story but I heart wisdom. And hopefully some day her children will rise and call her blessed.

What do I hate most about my body?
What RB said: "That it hurts all the time."

Actual answer: That it hurts most of the time, particularly when Cleaning Ninja or Gardening Ninja rears her ugly head.

What do you think is your best feature?
What RB said: "Your teeth."

Actual answer: My teeth??? Half of them aren't even mine! Perhaps he's looking at what they're worth. I'm rather partial to my built in Garmin road-mapped legs. Not everyone can find their way to Milwaukee by glancing down at their left thigh.

He seriously looks me in the teeth and swoons? This sounds like a Katdish Shiny Vampire

What is my most annoying habit?

What RB said: "Getting on me about little things that don’t matter."

Actual answer: OK, I'll admit it, I nag. But if pet peeves didn't exist, I wouldn't have to.

He's just such a laid-back guy. Little things don't matter to him. Like leaving the water running when he goes to work after brushing his teeth, or leaving the refrigerator door open when he gets a drink of water in the middle of the night.

Who's next? Don't let this circus stop with me!

Tea tonight: green with lemon & ginseng


sherri said...

Okay- Ron Burgandy made you sound MUCH better than Big AL made me sound. I knew I shouldn't have started this thing, it's only gonna' continue to make me look worse. (Especially when katdish just encouraged her hub to buy a boat!) Unfair. She's "buying " his answers.

Ron knows you very well.Glad I could entertain both of you with my "great personality". Big Al will never live that one down!

veri word: hefti
"That Sherri has a hefti appetite. But she has such a good personality...bless her heart."

Annie K said...

I'm too afraid to ask Jon - and then I'd have to lie on my blog about his answers. I'm thinking if I put it off long enough everyone will just forget about it..! (your teeth? Seriously? Wow...RB is such a romantic. lol)

Helen said...

Being able to see the best in people---yes, that is definitely so you. You do encourage people by seeing the best in them. I hope you have a Happy Mother's Day.

katdish said...

At least he didn't list "talking to your imaginary friends on the computer" as your most annoying habit. How suck would that be?

I'm going to have Ron interview me, I'm just looking for the right moment, like when we're out on his new man toy that I didn't hassle him about getting.

Wendy said...

You should come over to my house. You'd be in cleaning ninja nirvana here. So, when can I expect you?

Billy Coffey said...

You're such a sweet lady, and you have a great guy. It was nice to read one of these that didn't result in an argument!

And by the way, flipping the remote is not a pet peeve. It is a well-honed skill that takes years of dedication and practice.

Candace Jean July 16 said...

@Wendy - after the wedding I'll be there with my bucket and gloves. I'm probably going to need that second job!

@Billy - Yes, I'm very blessed. Easily annoyed, but blessed. Did you see my remote?

Alix said...

Candy! I so wanted to post a witty comment, but you have trumped any hope of that with your exceedingly hilarious whip-smart writing! This was hands down the most hilarious thing I've read in ages. The Garmin/road map to Milwaukee comment? Brilliant. I'd trust your thigh to get me there! You just keep churning out the good stuff, and I promise to come lap it up. PS: That Ron Burgundy sure is a handsome little devil, isn't he?

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