Thursday, September 24, 2009

Giving credit where credit is due

This is an apology of sorts. Or not.

I've been praying for something for several months now. Lots of things, actually, but also for, shall we say, a "situation." Praying for something not to happen that I didn't want to happen because I didn't feel it was in the best interest of the parties involved. "Please Lord, don't let..."

My prayer was answered - this time the answer was Yes. This "situation" went away. Apparently God felt the same way I did.

But in the process of my prayer being answered, a heart was broken. Or at the least, bruised. How could I humbly thank Him for answering my prayer when I was listening to someone tell me about their grief, their heartbreak, their lost hope? I really struggled with this one. Relieved, yet guilty.

Exchanging my relief and gratitude for the another's heartbreak is not exactly fair trade.

At church last week Pastor talked about forgiveness. That's it! God will forgive me that I had caused someone heartbreak. Whew. I knew there was some sort of biblical step I could take that could absolve me of my guilt. My confession commenced.

Then the booming voice from heaven said...ok, really, it was a whisper of the Holy Spirit..."Just who do you think you are that you were in control of this situation? I knew what you wanted. I knew what needed to happen for the good of all involved. It just so happens, young lady (yes, I do believe He called me that) that we were on the same page this time."

Who am I to take credit for something that I never had control over in the first place?

God wants us to grow and become more like Him, and after my decades of experience, I know that this process most likely involves some pain, perhaps suffering, or at the very least an uncomfortable, restless heart. All of which are necessary for us to once again realize how much we really need Him to help us heal from the sometimes inevitable collateral damage.

And He gives us more resilient hearts for the next time.

Tea tonight: Tazo Zen


Beth E. said...

This is so true, Candy. I have struggled with praying in the same manner for a loved one. I feel this person is making a big mistake. But, I don't want to pray selfish prayers. So, I've (finally)learned to pray, "Not my will, but YOUR will be done." Because, after all....I may not have a clue when it comes to this person's situation! I see only part of what's going on...God sees the entire picture.

I've had to let go of a lot...I thought I was giving up control. What I finally realized was that I never had control over the situation in the first place.

Great post, and a great lesson.


Helen said...

I get you. I don't knwo your situation, but I get you.

When my dad was dying, I prayed hard for him to be made well. Then, one day, he was suffering so badly, I prayed it would end. It did. That day. I felt guilty, too for a while. But later I realized that God isn't a "GOTCHA! HAH!" sort of guy. Sometimes it just takes time to Reconcile ourselves with our feelings.

Alix said...

You are so right dear Candy. I wish we lived closer. I would so hang out with you and enjoy having your preciousness rub off on me.

vanilla said...

God is good and sometimes He does slap us upside the head, or whisper to us, to remind us not to be presumptuous.

Annie K said...

Great post Candy. No matter what God is saying to us, I think it's a good sign that we HEAR him because that means we are listening...

sherri said...

"Who am I to take credit for something that I never had control over in the first place?"

I've done this often. Thanks for the reminder of who really is in control.

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