(scroll down and turn off my playlist first!)
Thanks to Jon on SCL for this post. Saves me from having to take a sledge hammer to the writer's block and still allows me an awesome post for the day. Besides, it's all I've thought about all day. God is the same, every day, no matter what we do. Awesome, huh?
This song reminds me of someone who warmed my heart this week (it was oh, so cold and spent this week!), because I can see how God has softened her heart. Warmed it. Blessed it.
Put His Fingerprints. All. Over. It.
He has worked through her in the most beautiful ways. I will never doubt that our perspective, heart, or mind can be transformed by His grace. Where there were prolonged whines, there are now simply factual statements that move on. Where there was scowling disagreement when compliments were given, now there is gratitude laced with humility. Where there was sadness and hopelessness, there are now new hopes and "just one more surprise" that push the darkness back to the old places where we refuse to go again. Where there were memories that caused despair and "whys??" there is now an appreciation for growth and understanding and "so whats?" Loneliness morphed into a blessed, prayerful solitude where we are never alone. There are new awakenings to life happenings that are in no way weird or strange or coincidental, but simply a vibrant new awareness to His presence and His plan. Living a life of "me" is gradually pointing toward serving others. "I can't" is now "I will." I prayed for this day for so long. I know how sometimes three steps forward means two steps back, but it still means one step ahead. I know. I've understood this in my own heart for a very long time. I'm so grateful and blessed with this transformation that oozes the love and mercy of our God who gave everything He had for her, knows her name, and claims her as His own. And everyone else sees it too.
Because that's just how God rolls. 
Had I posted this a year and a half ago, it would have been Casting Crowns singing Does Anybody Hear Her? because she was "running a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction." Thank you, Lord. You have rocked my world to tears today. And wow, do I love Colossians 3:15-17 at this moment.
Tea today: Young Hyson
"It seems like only yesterday..." Who would have thought that at age 22 I could actually make a decision I've never regretted? OK, so the ribbon sandwiches at the reception wouldn't have passed muster with many palates today. But it was the ultimate "wedding on a shoestring." I had second-thoughts about so many decisions before then (and if I'm honest, so many after that) - how can a person so emotionally and spiritually underdeveloped and malnourished, make a choice of a lifetime, and make the right choice? Well I did, with God in my heart guiding me to make decisions. I thought perhaps it was the fear of my father, but now I'm certain, it was the love of my Father that directed us to plan the marriage much more deeply than we planned the wedding. Happy Anniversary, Ron Burgundy. 35 years, 3 kids, lots of hair, a few teeth, and what seems like a ::blink:: later, it has been an honor to be your bride. This is an awesome song and the video is so very powerful, though heart-wrenching. Wouldn't it be nice if we could be sure that all of God's children could "be careful little eyes what you see?" This makes me sad for all children who didn't get to experience the life that God had intended for them, but I know He has something bigger planned for them in His time.
the truth, and the intent, so I usually take it in stride. I try not to let things get to me, but perhaps it's my current state of exhaustion, the job, and the bad day yesterday that carried over despite 11 hours of sleep. I've compiled some comments said to me in the past couple days that are really digging at my heart. Perhaps if I write them down, I'll get over it and I can quickly flush my pity pot.What was said | What I heard | What was (probably) meant |
| “I’ve always liked that sweater on you!” | “You’ve had that sweater a very long time!” | “Geez, she's wearing that again??” |
| “You must be really busy these days.” | “You look horrible.” | “You have bags under your eyes and dark circles, get some rest.” |
| “You’re wearing your hair darker these days.” | “Going to get your roots done soon?” | “Your roots have grown out and I’m not sure I like it or I’d have said that I did and not what I did say.” |
| “If there’s anything I can do to help you out, please let me know.” | “I’m totally inept at anything you would remotely need, but I got a bad evaluation and I’m trying to suck up for the next one.” | “I’m giving you lip service because I was told by ___ that my communication skills stink.” |
“You’re usually a lot more tan. No tennis this summer?” | “Hey Queen of Pale, ever heard of Vitamin D?” | “You’re a hermit. A very pale hermit.” |
Tennis apparently isn't who I am anymore. Maybe it never was. I've found some other comforts, other priorities, other peace. But I still love it and the fabulous memories of laughter and the "high" it always gave me. The sound of a bullet off the sweet spot. And that unforgettable smell from the new can of balls. BFFs. I can live with those memories. This is sort of like when your children grow up - you accept it and never forget the memories they created in your heart. Tonight I'll pray on it a bit. God can always change my mine, my heart. And if He does, perhaps He could tweak that forehand a bit, too. Surely He saw the need tonight.
Tea today: Revolution Acai Green
I have a knife or spoon in my hand. He knows my antique electric (is that an oxymoron?) knife will make some random moves and throw a helping or two his way. He stands with his head between my legs to catch the kernels as they fall on his snout. 
He slurps and licks and my kitchen floor is as clean as a whistle when he's done. The green beans and tomatoes? Not so much. And if he looks at me saying "More, please?" he knows I'll throw him an ear of corn all his own. Golden gems for a puppy in his golden years. I have to be careful, though, because he's terrified of the silks! I guess that's the weiner in my little corn dog. Iowa State Fair's got nothing on my corn dog!
Other than my desk time at work, this was not a sitting day. It's no wonder I get tired by this time and want to curl up with my Bible, my puppy, and my iPod, in that order. It was Mom who taught me to wear out, not rust out. I'm trying to keep up with her, I guess. Tea tonight: left-over Genmaicha
Lucky said he needs some new friends, so I fixed him up with his own spot on DoggySpace. Stop by and visit! He would sure like some of his friends to join him, too!
He was young, 20ish, tanned, muscular, in a white tank top, sandals, and sitting with a forlorn posture looking out over the lake, chin in hands, elbows on knees. I thought about him as I passed by on my walk. Was he praying? Was he crying? Is he broke? Is his mom sick? Did his girl dump him? Something big was obviously on his mind, because as I returned to my car 45 min later, it appeared he had not moved a skosh. By his posture, I don't think he was out there singing praises. For the half mile he was in my line of vision on the way back, I contemplated walking the 30 yards across the grass to tell him.....what? What would I say? Ask if he's ok? If he needs anything? Just tell him I prayed for him for 2 1/2 miles? Would he be offended? Angry? Lash out? So rather than having bold "Jesus feet" I just kept walking. But I did pray for him (lame, I know - ultimate passive/aggressive). I hope he's ok. I regret not saying anything to him. You just never know when you're going to touch a heart, help a lost soul -- but the 
I've been lurking (albeit politely) at this beautiful woman's blog for almost two weeks now. Not sure how I got to it - divine intervention perhaps. But it is the most heart-wrenching, Lord-loving, raw and honest blog you will probably ever read. This family needs your prayers. Please lift them up and know that the power of prayer is remarkable. It has been awesome to see so many people literally on their knees in cyberspace praying for this family. Don't be surprised to see yourself wrapped in God's arms by the time you make it through a couple of the posts. His strength is so evident in her blog. 
My primary "love language" is Acts of Service; running a close second is Receiving Gifts (I don't hear that one spoken around here much). Today R talked to me in a language I could hear loud and clear. Together we washed all of the outsides of the windows, including the 25 ft tall ones, and he did 80% of the work. It's gruelling, except it was made easier with all of those nicely trimmed shrubs :-] and the yet-to-be identified tree that allegedly needs trimming. Then he pulled up dozens of big thistles from around the pond and we filled yard bags with the harvest. Wow, that feels so good. Manicured. Pristine. Sparkly. Birds will awaken me at 5 am tomorrow - smackin' into those transparent windows.
Found this on PostSecret today.
This is one of my favorite songs by Mark Schultz. I really love all of his songs and feel so blessed to have met and talked with him in person when he did a concert 
last year in Iowa during his "Mark Across America" tour for the James Fund. He is so genuine, so real, and just an awesome person. Not too shabby at song writing and singing, either! Don't ever miss a chance to see one of his performances. I'd give anything to go see him in Iowa City next week :(
As I was trimming the hedges this week, that song just wouldn't leave my head. You can hack away at shrubs and get rid of all of the gangly, useless branches that detract from that neatly manicured look, and no matter how deep the cut, no matter how big the "oops," they will bounce back. Re-bloom. Re-leaf. Re-branch. Sort of like us - we get hurt and broken and violated but through God's grace we come back. Most of the time, more beautiful, but always, with His help, stronger. We know we can depend on the strong roots and nourishment He has provided for us.
Though people are really the true testimony to Broken and Beautiful, one that reminds me every day of this is my flowering crab, or "Aunt Crabby." Most of my plants have names. Harold reminds me of this song a bit as well. But this tree we planted was so beautiful, so perfect, until the ice storm of 2007 that made it so heavy that it split smack down the middle. A huge part of the tree was gone. Broken. Lopsided. Unable to bear the cruel icy burden cast upon it and the winds that finally brought it to submission. In the spring, we took the chain saw and finished off what was hanging there, leaving a huge scar, a wispier tree, and lots of hope that it would somehow bud and blossom again. It did. The leaves are actually a deeper green now, with a crimson gloss on the undersides. The crab apples are more bountiful, and the view from inside the house allows me to see my pond a lot better. It was supposed to happen. And it happens to all of us. Whether someone has intentionally taken a "Hedge Hog" to you, or whether it's God's will, it happens. I don't remember praying for that tree, but I have certainly prayed for the brokenness in our lives and the healing that follows. The scar on that tree is tough and healed, but always a reminder that "He is the vine, we are the branches." And as I write this in the cool Saturday breeze while sitting near that tree, my puppy, who is walking on all fours with only a barely discernible limp, is also reveling in the healing of the broken. A few days ago I imagined us burying him under that tree by now. How foolish I was to think that His plans were not mine.
Where do you see God's healing? How has He spoken to you lately?
Tea today: Tazo Green Ginger
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